Finally, it’s my turn to get mugged. I can’t tell you what a mixed feeling of delight and regret it is.

Here’s the crime (it’s rather pathetic)…

Location: Sri Manja Square, Old Klang Road

Time: around 1.20pm

Date: 4th August 2012

I walked out of a shop onto a one-way street. Two dark looking dude on a bike passed me by, made a U-turn. I had my fist ready. The dude on the back made eye-contact with me.

Nothing happened.

As I walked towards my car, they strolled around the street as if looking for some place to go to.

Half way towards my car, again they made a U-turn, had eye-contact with me. I developed nagging suspicion; but no crime was committed so I kept walking.

As I reached my car, the bike was still within sight but not a dangerous distance. And then I had my back to them…

They reached me from behind, a hand grabbed my neck. The hand slipped; he was going for my gold necklace (hidden deep within my shirt). He got nothing from me.

I looked at the two dudes with my eyes wide. They are now officially muggers; I finally got my shot at laying my hands on one.

The last time such things happened to me, I was six. I can’t let this opportunity slip.

I chased after them. The guy on the back made an evil laughter.

But the bike was too fast. I stopped chasing after 5 steps.

They slipped.

A passerby asked me what happened. Nice guy, but there ain’t nothing he could do.

For half a minute I stood around, not going into my car, hoping they would come back and mug me again. I guess they are dumb but not that dumb.

I took my car and spent 20 minutes driving around the neighborhood hoping I would find them again. I know… it’s a long shot, but a man got to try his luck.

I got no luck. They’ve slipped for real.

I came back with nothing lost; and I came home empty-handed.

Here’s a few takeaways:

  • Bikes doing a U-turn is a big signal for incoming muggers.
  • I didn’t count on my guts. I gave them a benefit of doubt even when I know they were suspicious.
  • Do not turn your back on muggers. Take them in the face; you have only 1.5 seconds to finish the business.

Waiting for muggers is like fishing. Unfortunately I’m not into fishing. But at least now I don’t get to say “but how come it just doesn’t happen to me?” Let’s hope the next time will be much more fruitful.

But here’s the major lesson: KL may be worse than Gotham City; but if you live in fear, they win.