When I was thirteen there was a brief period when I was given a nickname by a couple of boys. It was so brief it didn't catch on. I was nicknamed Incredible Hulk. Like any nickname I'm sure it was derogatory but I didn't mind that one. I only wonder why and I still don't know. There must be some sense of anger that was that visible.

This past week I attempted an experiment in willfully conjuring a sense of anger in me. I wanted to see the benefits it might bring that I didn't have the skill to notice before.

These are scattered notes from the psychological experiment. It's specific to my wetware configuration but likely to be applicable in general terms. If I had the time they would've been made into a character-study fiction-piece and not a collection of dry facts.

King, Warrior, Magician, Lover (KWML)

I've brought up the notion of internal sub-agents, an idea quite close to Internal Family System. I've come around and think the KWML archetypes is a superior framework.

Not because KWML is more correct, but it's high enough in resolution and yet quite manageable. Once you get the know the archetypes it's easy to relate to them.

For the uninitiated, here's my rendition of what KWML is. Inside your male brain lives four people. There is the King, who takes care of your sense of right and wrong. The Warrior carries the animal instinct. The Magician make thing works. The Lover feels. They live perpetually together in conflict trying to take you over.

The Warrior competes

Anytime you engage in a zero-sum activity (sports, gambling, trading) the Warrior is in charge.

When the Warrior is not active, the drive to win does not exist.

The Warrior feeds on passion

In order to sustain a drive, the Warrior requires passion. Passion not in the sense of harmless obsession but the kind that Stoicism warns you against.

Passion is fueled by anger.

Stoking anger

YMMV but for me it was surprisingly simple: stoke envy and/or discontent. The key isn't to get angry at something abstract and distant like the government or the society.

Envy has to be pointed at a peer. Someone who you know personally and deemed more "successful" than you.

Having an arch nemesis is invaluable here but that's not a luxury most people have.

The Magician builds

In contrast to the Warrior, the Magician is about solutions.

He builds devices to put problematic situations to an end. Everything is seen as a problem to be solved.

There is a need to make sense of the world; mostly so he can fix it.

The Magician needs flow

Unlike the feeding of passion, the Magician needs to be continuously and moderately challenged in order to do well.

Excessive negative energy tends to throw him off. In other words he needs to be somewhat happy to thrive.

Happiness to the Magician is not the end but a mean.

Anger narrows vision

When fueling the Warrior with anger, perspectives narrow, limiting the figurative scope of vision. You literally see less with your eyes if you are angry enough.

The upside is it creates focus. The Warrior needs focus because seeing more angles deter immediate action. The Warrior is about action; the Magician is about analysis paralysis.

Anger in small doses

In my experiment I let angst ran for too long and the mind got into a state of debilitation, numb from anxiety and lost the sense of articulation. The resulting internal voice sounded familiar, like a much younger dumber version of me.

While feeding on the angry metaphorical drug, the body moves faster, more engaging in mundane activities. There exist a sense of positive beat if I allow it.

But angry drug make you dumb. The key is to take just enough of it to charge you forward.

Once anger is unleashed it's difficult to pull it back. This is accurately depicted by Bruce Banner's management of Hulk. Realistically when you are in a dumbed down state, you wouldn't have the sophisticated faculty to calm a hulk even if you want to.

Warrior vs Magician

I've been unknowingly managing the tension between these two gentlemen for a long time.

The Warrior charges forward. He motivates with questionable rationale. The King would give him the side eyes but let him slide.

The Magician ultimately delivers the result with composure.

Antidote to anger

I suspect the antidote to anger isn't ecstasy, it's gratitude. The sense of gratitude is much harder to trigger than anger.

Managing this well means you get the ability to deploy anger strategically and withdraw it at will.

Why did I self-provoke?

There is whiff of mid-life meaning crisis. It's not fully here yet but I recognize the smell.

I've also been largely at peace the past few years. The upside is obvious, the downside is a general loss of drive.

A loss of drive isn't the lack of desire or ambition. It isn't the lack of reason either. The King supplies philosophies and reasons, the Magician supplies solutions. But something was lacking; you may call it qi.

Qi is what the Warrior supplies and anger is what wakes him up. That was true years ago, only it was overdone and mismanaged.

The Magician and the King were calling the shots lately and found the spiritual court rather empty. So let's see if the Warrior will behave himself this time.