As humanity slowly ventures out into the cosmos, we are struggling to overcome the challenge of getting all our stuff into space. Rockets are impractical for the long term as they're prohibitively expensive, they require a ridiculous amount of fuel, and they're an environmental menace. The panacea, we've been told, is the much heralded space elevator — a massive Jack-and-the-Beanstalk-like structure that would reach up into space from Earth's surface.

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